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Drownin' in the Blue Nile
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
My boredom's bone-deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?
I dream of crackin' locks
Throwin' my life to the wolves 
or the ocean rocks
Crashin' into him tonight, 
he's a paradox
I'm seeing visions
Am I bad or mad or wise?
What if he's written "mine" 
on my upper thigh 
only in my mind?
One slip and fallin' 
back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things 
we never did
Messy top lip kiss, 
how I long for our trysts
Without ever touchin' his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
I keep these longings locked
In lowercase, inside a vault
Someone told me, 
"There's no such thing 
as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk"
These fatal fantasies
Giving way to labored breath, 
takin' all of me
We've already done 
it in my head
If it's make-believe
Why does it feel like a vow 
we'll both uphold somehow?
What if he's written "mine" 
on my upper thigh 
only in my mind?
One slip and fallin' 
back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
My bed sheets are ablaze
I've screamed his name
Buildin' up like waves 
crashin' over my grave
Without ever touchin' 
his skin
How can I be guilty 
as sin?
What if I roll 
the stone away?
They're gonna 
crucify me anyway
What if the way 
you hold me 
is actually 
what's holy?
If long-suffering 
propriety 
is what they 
want from me
They don't know 
how you've haunted me 
so stunningly
I choose you and me 
religiously
What if he's written "mine" 
on my upper thigh 
only in my mind?
One slip and fallin' 
back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling 
things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, 
how I long for our trysts
Without ever touchin' 
his skin
How can I be guilty 
as sin?
He sent me 
"Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it 
in a while
Am I allowed to cry?

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